Lenten Meditation for Today : For Living without Control

God, I come to you as I am.

It is all I have, really.

This moment.

And the next one I’m conscious of

will be the same.

I can feel the way I move,

moment to moment,

without the comfort of “solutions.”

It seems wild to me now how I imagined

any once-and-for-all cure for this,

or a master plan to ensure things

will work out.

But, truth be told, that’s always been

my secret hope. So, Lord, let’s try again.

I’m begging for a new plan.

I want a plan that is an “unplan.

I must keep moving and planning,

trying and changing,

knitting my days together even as

they unravel.

So can we do this together?

Remind me to pray: come Lord

and quiet the worry.

I step, and you steady me.

I give, and you keep my hands open.

I act, and you fortify me with courage

to try and try and try again.

This life is uncertain, Lord, but your love is not.

You tell the story of my life

regardless of how little I know

about how it ends, except to say,

you were there since the beginning

and you appear on every page.

~Kate Bowler

CHRIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH